The fear of uncertainty…
Why is it so hard to be in the unknown? Why does this shake me so much?
This fear consumes my mind and brings out in me a person that says and does things that are not aligned with my higher self.
The wise woman within me, the divine woman in me whispers gentle words of wisdom…she tells me “Be still my love”, “breathe”, “ trust” “ all is as it should be’.
This voice is comforting, and I know I need to trust it, yet why do I still let the voice of my ego and my fear takes over. It doubts everything. It wants to control, it wants safety, it wants certainty. Certainty that everything will be ok. That my life will be a pleasant experience. It doesn’t like unpleasant experiences, so it will say all kinds of things to convince me that I can’t trust in the unknown…it searches for anything it can use to prove it and to convince me to listen to it. It uses all my past unpleasant experiences and brings them to the surface…triggers my emotions and that usually works. Once I remember the feeling of that unpleasant experience, it says “see I told you” this is what will happen if you don’t listen to me. You are going to feel this way. And all my inner wisdom gets lost in that muck of doubt in my head. So, I give in, I let it once more take over me and everything that comes out of my mouth and every thought I am having are based out of this fear and cannot be reasoned with. My actions once more reflect this fear and I hear myself react and say things I later regret.
So I ask myself, how do I work with fear? What can I learn from it’s presence when it shows up? Where do I begin to listen to it? Again, that soft voice comes in and says…breathe…be still…listen!
So, I do…I breathe, I breathe all the way into my heart…I let the soft voice guide me for just this moment and I feel at peace, at ease and I know in that moment that I can trust. This moment is sacred, devoid of doubt, and fear…it feels so pleasant. This shows me I can trust in this voice. That I have the choice to choose which voice to listen to.
Awareness from this fear
When I reflect and journal on my actions and my feelings I begin to see how fear leads me to make choices that are so not aligned with my heart. I notice how my need to control and please others comes out. This shows up by needing things to be one way or another, so I can feel better, more comfortable. So, I plan, I organize I do and I do and I do until I am exhausted, tired and frustrated that life, things, events, and people are not working with me. That it’s not the way “I” want it! Goddam ego…. there it goes again. Then, in these moments of frustration and anger, I question myself, my choices and the people. I DOUBT! I doubt me, I wonder what’s wrong with me, why is my life not going the way I want it to.
Ah again, that soft voices come back in and says STOP…Stop doing…just Be…be still my love…we have your back…we know what is best for you…trust, let go…trust that all is as it should be! Everything is coming together the way its supposed to…trust!
My new mantra becomes “I choose to trust” which I repeat over and over again until…I simply trust!
Holistic Healing Teacher, Mentor and Speaker
Helping professionals become inspiring and influential conscious leaders by coaching them through their inner-transformation of awakening their hearts.
I use mindfulness, energetic healing, and self-awareness to teach people ways to bring holistic healing and well-being into their lives and in their workplace. Learn more...