The truth behind your loneliness

Loneliness comes from not knowing your wholeness.

What motivates you to do the things you do?

Does your life have meaning?

Are you living your purpose?

Knowing your “why” is the key to fulfillment. There is great power in being aware of what drives your actions.  When your actions are driven by fear this leads you to feel lonely, unfulfilled and unhappy.

Sharing with you some insight on loneliness, pleasing behavior and sense of purpose that came my way yesterday.

False sense of purpose and fulfillment…

What is your intention behind your need to help others? What subconscious needs are driving your actions?

What gives your life meaning and sense of purpose?  Does having someone need you or want your help give you a sense of purpose?

Are you someone who needs to please others?

As I examined these questions for myself, I was in shock and in awe of the clarity that came through as I answered these questions as honestly as I could.

This all started when I woke up yesterday morning feeling this familiar feeling of loneliness. I was not able to sit and meditate so I decided to go for a run.  Thinking I could “run it off” …run off this feeling so I didn’t’ have to feel it…. How funny this concept, of course I know better than to run away from it and sure enough not even 5 min into my run I twisted my ankle, just enough to remind me that running it off was not the way…I heard clearly in my head “you have to walk through it”.  So, I listened and was blown away to see all these dots connect.

 The first thing that came to me was the realization that having someone need me or want me made me feel good…this gave me some sense of meaning, like I mattered.  That made me question my behavior and my intentions behind everything I did. 

When you face yourself with this degree of honesty, it’s not easy at all, in fact every cell of my being wanted to not face this feeling.

I started looking at all the ways I was showing up as a different person, so people would like me and want me to be either friends, companions and lovers. I looked at all the ways I used to please others or manipulate others, so I would feel better because if they approved of me, then that meant I was “worthy”.  OMG!!! Really?

You see I had a subconscious belief that if people need me, or my help either professionally or personally that my life had purpose. This is an illusion, false sense of purpose. The need to feel wanted comes from an unfulfilled desire and longing for connection, projected onto someone. When your connection to self and spirit is strong you don’t feel alone, you feel connected to everything thus not needing to look outside yourself to feel this.

We all want meaning and a sense of purpose in our life, but what drives it? Is it driven by a desire to be of service? Or fulfilling a personal need? How can you tell?

False sense of purpose is driven by your insecurities and an inner emptiness.  Inner emptiness comes from a lack of connection with self and with source (divine, universe, God).  There is only one cause of inner emptiness: a lack of love. But it is not a lack of someone else’s love that causes your emptiness. Inner emptiness is caused by self-abandonment, by not loving yourself.

Not knowing who you are leads you to change who you are to please others.  This shows up when you feel rejected or abandoned. This feeling of rejection of another is a projection of self-rejection.  What you want most out of another is that which you are not giving yourself.

You abandon yourself when you judge yourself, ignore your feelings by staying in your head, numb your feelings through substance, addictions and make others responsible for your feelings and for loving you. You are causing your own emptiness by your self-abandonment.

Your ego-wounded self is filled with false beliefs and illusions of who you are. Your wounded self may see you as inadequate, unlovable, not good enough, not important, selfish, bad, wrong.

These are programmed beliefs that have no basis in truth, but they may be running your life. When you believe that you are not good enough, then you turn to others and to addictions to try to feel better and fill the emptiness.

On the flip side…

True sense of purpose comes from discovering the truth of who you are. When you are in alignment with your soul’s desires and have a deep connection with SELF, you will begin to experience inner peace, joy and fulfillment.  Through expanded awareness, you move into your wholeness. When you return to YOU to your wholeness, your life has meaning. When you find yourself in this space, you recognize your uniqueness and you want to share your gifts with the world.  You want to be of service.  This is your true purpose, to share your truth, to shine your light and be a source of inspiration for others.  It’s in being the light that you guide, not in doing!

Motives define the nature of your experience. Clarity on your “why” is the key to fulfillment. Now is the time for introspection and to listen to your intuition.  What is your spirit seeking? Today chose to know your higher self, choose to connect to your spirit and be the light beacon for others!


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